May 26, 2010 was the day that turned my life around. I had experienced something ineffable and unimaginable. The loss of a loved one is always a painful process. For me I had lost more than just one person, I felt like I had lost my life.
I grew up all along envisioning her as a heroic manifestation surmounting all energy and grace for me. Unfortunately, all the energy and motivation that I drew from her was all lost in just a moment. I stood there feeling numb with the pain and inexplicable loss. A group of people who I barely even knew suddenly surrounded me. I felt overwhelmed and an excruciating pain deep within my soul.
The process of grieving was slow and unending for me. I could not ever foresee myself overcoming this loss until I said things out loud and put together this video. Although, my grieving process will never attain completion in this lifetime but I am on a path that instills within me the courage to overcome the urge to endlessly lament.
Losing a loved one and especially one’s own mother is difficult to come to terms with. I constantly questioned myself for years upon losing her. My relationship with her was more than that of merely being a parent. She was my best friend, confidante, guide and lifeline. I had promised to her that we would always be inseparable.
These conversations seemed meaningless to me after having lost my mother. My dearest friend and system of support had transitioned to a different world from where she could not travel each day to see me. Each time I wanted to overcome my loss, I kept having conflicting conversations within myself. It is only by put together my story and coming to terms with reality, have I been able to accept my loss. I will continue to love her and cherish our memories until my last breath.